The Agency of Unicorns (please read before buying) :: Flash Fiction

Sometimes it’s good to read the between the lines.

Terms of the Real Unicorn Deal (Unicorn Inc.)

  1. The unicorn will be delivered at agreed upon time and place. (Changes after signing of the contract can no longer be accepted, due to the high interstellar administrative costs.)
  2. Unicorns may differ. Unicorn Inc. is not responsible for biological, emotional, aesthetic or social differences. (What you get is what you get, basically.)
  3. Unicorn remains property of itself, irrespective of local legal rules regarding animals. (Please be aware unicorns dislike being called animals.)
  4. This deal instantly becomes void when these terms are broken. (All involvement of Unicorn Inc. will be categorically denied, both in Kantian and non-Kantian sense.)
  5. Anything you say or do, in any universe and in both future and the past, can and will be used against you. (This includes that time you hit your little brother.)
  6. Unicorn Inc. does not take any responsibility for anything the unicorn does or doesn’t do. (There is no way you can reach us to voice complaints. Any way you will try to contact us, is useless.)
  7. Unicorns will be returned to Unicorn Inc in the following circumstances:
    1. When unicorn so desires (free will remains with unicorn, unicorns are stubborn and will see through any attempt to make them go back.)
    2. When the time of the contract is fully served (unless the unicorn wishes to remain, free of charge.)
    3. When terms of this agreement are broken (to be decided by Unicorn Inc.)
  8. This deal goes into effect the moment funds are wired to Unicorn Inc. at which time all terms of this agreement are agreed upon.

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